17 Wonderfully Useless Words That Shouldn’t Exist But Do
Find out why all today’s ~coolest~ pedants are saying “wabbit,” “deasil,” and “squirk”!
Skip to the end (or click here) for the puzzle I’ve made you this week. My crash course on how to do cryptic puzzles begins here.
Don’t squirk, but I’m feeling rather wabbit after putting this list of delightfully obscure words together, so instead of a viduous bromatology by way of a preamble, let’s just get to the main course: Here are 17 wonderfully useless words that shouldn’t exist but do.
As in, “If you think you’re sorry now, wait until we’re 30 minutes into my antapology.”
As in, “The waiter delivered an obsequious bromatology although I’d merely asked whether my order came with fries.”
Deasil is the Scottish Gaelic counterpart to the equally lovely but slightly more well-known “widdershins,” meaning counterclockwise, or simply “in the wrong direction.”
As in, “Cecil the weasel ran deasil round the teazle.”
(A teazle, as everyone knows is, a tall, prickly Eurasian plant with lavender flowers.)
As in, “Despite the tracasserie with the waiter, the fries were a sensation.”
As in, “Hello? Yes, there’s a small mammothrept in my house and I was wondering if someone could remove him. Yes, he is mine. Yes, I’ll hold.”
As in, “It is a peculiarly avuncular* tracasserie to have a mammothrept for a niefling.”
*This is also, of course, a materteral tracasserie.
As in, “Mix-a-Lot's in trouble / Beggin' for a piece of that [callipygian individual’s most prominent feature]”
As in, “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Squirk and you squirk alone.”
As in, “There are three types of people — those who see the glass as half full, those who see the glass as half empty, and those who see the glass as semi-viduous. Avoid this latter type.”
As in, “My mammothrept niefling’s apology was aspectabund but viduous, eliciting a mere squirk by way of antapology from me.”
As in most days, to be perfectly honest.
As in, “Unfortunately I have some important jentacular business that will prevent me from coming into the office this morning.”
As in, “Our grits are spectacular, jentacular, and only slightly pulmentarious.”
As in, “Check out the loof on this floof.”
Not to be too self-congratulatory, but I think that may be the “cellar door” of sentences.
As in, “Whatever you do, do not attempt to ‘check out the loof’ on this emydosaurian.”
As in, “The indagatrix was growing increasingly concerned about how long it had been since we last heard from Cecil the weasel.”
As in this absolutely sensational response for the next time someone tells you to “grab life by the horns”:
“I’m too wabbit to grab it.”
I have made you a puzzle. The puzzle image is below if you want to print it out like our forebears used to, but you can also fill it in with a click!
Just 4 words: fas-ci-nat-ing! 🤩 In an eensy bit fairer world your cellar door of a stack would gain a sweeping spread it manifestly deserves. It’s patently aspectabund 🤦